On pregnancy

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant, and what an accomplishment that feels like!

We found out we (correction: I. Mckay's pet peeve is when husbands and wives are both pregnant. But I think he's learning that husbands and wives are both pregnant) were pregnant on a Saturday in March. It was the best. We cried and were giddy and kind of just sat there for about an hour with these feelings of awe pouring out of us, it felt surreal and exciting and wonderful and strange.  

Then around six weeks I started to feel some mild nausea. It was uncomfortable but bearable, and not really an inconvenience.  In all my primi-gravida naivety I thought, "This isn't awesome, but totally manageable.  I can totally do this, and do it with a good attitude." And then week 7 hit. And all of a sudden I actually kind of wanted to be put out of misery. I was intensely nauseous all the live-long day. And around week 9 I started throwing up, and getting even sicker at night. All this while somehow managing to keep my eyeballs above the shark infested waters of nursing school.

Everything went to the dogs. My house especially took a beating. It was disgusting. Mckay was in massive amounts of trouble when he actually invited our home teachers over immediately after church one Sunday to a home that looked like wild hyenas had made camp. This wasn't just my-house-is-fairly-clean-but-I'll apologize-and-pretend-it's-disgusting-because- it's-normally-sparkling-and-aromatherapy-ized, this was dirty clothes strewn about, moving boxes, piles of junk, food on the floor, dishes in the sink dirty. It was so bad they actually excused themselves for a minute so we could "tidy up" and I could try and cool my burning red cheeks. 

I didn't cook. I didn't clean. I literally did not grocery shop for over six weeks. I went to class (sometimes) and then came home and got right into bed and Mckay would bring me food that I would try and eat (in bed) and then I'd fall asleep. Or cry and then fall asleep. Or watch "Call the Midwife" and fall asleep.

It really felt like it would never end. As horrible as this is to admit, some days it was incredibly difficult to be happy & grateful. Some days I wondered what the heck we'd been thinking.  Other days were so sweet and even through the nausea and misery there were only tender feelings and happy emotions- like when Mckay would be speeding down I-95 and then hit the breaksand say, "Woah, I better slow down, I'm gonna be a Dad!" or when he'd talk to our little blueberry sized embryo through my softening tummy. Or one morning when my Mom sent us our first teeny-tiny baby outfit with little elephants on it and I thought my heart would burst. 

The weeks slowly but eventually passed, the nausea lifted, and pregnancy amnesia set in because now I think this whole things is practically perfect in every way.

I even did (ahem, attempted) a prenatal yoga video today... and the deep breathing at the beginning felt so good and relaxing that it made me sleepy and then I had to do some pose where my hands were reaching up and I'm squatting down (awkward tree?) and I was like this.is.not.relaxing.only.uncomfortable. So 7 minutes into it I quit and took a nap. But I gave myself a break because I haven't done a stitch of exercise since becoming pregnant. That's on my to-do list. I also threw my only organic, increased fruits & veggies, lean protein, no sugar/white flour pre-pregnancy, pregnancy diet idea out the window reaaaal quick. Because when only grilled cheese sandwiches and watermelon sound good, I only eat grilled cheese sandwiches and watermelon. 

Ch-ch-ch-changes:
There's actually a bitty-bump now which I kind of love.  
I'm still waiting on the super-thick gorgeous hair that is rumored to come, so far I haven't been the recipient of that pregnancy blessing. 
Ever increasing bust size. Some call it curse but I can't for the life of me figure out why.
Fatigue that hits like a ton of bricks (especially when I attempt yoga or house cleaning or reading).
Some pimples, which are as unwelcome now as they were at 15.
Aversions; no salteens, Crest toothepaste, gingerale, teddy grahams or spinach ever again please.  

Things are good. We {three} are very happy.

Our beautiful, talented and smart child at 9 weeks. Look at those cute arm buds!