back in time.

Mckay's parents sent me a bunch of pictures from his childhood. I could not stop going through them yesterday, they made me grin from ear to ear. What a cutie he was! Don't let the pictures fool you though, he was a trouble maker! I believe his Mother told me that he was her most difficult child.  He was naughty and too smart for his own good, I think.  We're in for a treat if our sons take after him.

Family picture circa 1982. Mckay is the startled baby :]

 3 maybe? How adorable is that? I would be so thrilled if our boys looked just like him. Minus the plaid & soul-train collar.

 4? Look at that cutie! His hair was so blonde! I die.

Circa 1988- Love his grin & buzzed head. (He's the little one with the cream vest)

Loving on his siblings.

This one may be my favorite. 

1989, Mckay is the kid on the top right. His Dad is above him.

Mckay was 7 and playing soccer while I was just a newborn!

Freshman year.

Sweet glasses + baby Dallas.

(My Dad had these glasses too.)

Tough guy, senior in high school. 

The red dot means he's going to Korea on his mission.

The red eyes mean he got a little teary.

The red tie? Means it was 2001 I guess.

College football at SVU with brother Taylor.

I suck at bowling & running-

Have you ever seen a cuter group of 4 year olds? These are just five of the ten in my Primary class. I love them! Most Sundays they are just as cute as can be, albeit, hard to keep focused. Class ended and they all wanted to hide under the table & have me tell the Mamas that I lost them. Look at them!!! Too adorable for their own good. And they say the most hilarious things. Like,

"Sister Dunn, you have bags under your eyes."

& "What kind of car does Jesus have?"

They are also impressively smart and have such a sweet, innocent perspective on the gospel. I will be sad when I don't get to teach them every Sunday.

 We went to dinner & bowling with our good friends Josh & Colleen this weekend. Bowling was fun/awkward. Not for them, only for me. Because I suck at bowling. They were all really good & kept getting strikes & really enjoyed themselves. Especially Mckay who got 5 strikes in a row!!! (214 points... super human freak bowler). It was a fun night even with the overpowering aroma of stale cologne + fried food, horrible lighting & obnoxious meat heads next to us.



 I decided to run a 1/2 marathon & as punishment got hurt on my run on Saturday. My  knee has always bothered me, but never caused a significant amount of pain. The last few weeks it would be sore after jogging & sometimes after crossing my legs or bending weird. Mckay & I were out on a lovely mid-Saturday run & it was acting up again. As per usual, I was pushing through the pain, thinking it just needed to get worked out. Then I stopped & couldn't start again. Worst pain ever. I was almost in tears/screaming on the side of the road because I couldn't move my leg or pick it up or bend it. It felt like a had a fat golf ball lodged in the side of my knee. A complete stranger offered to take us home. Bikers stared. Mckay laughed. I moaned. I made Mckay run home (he wanted the exercise) & get the car & come rescue me. And then I iced it all day. Prognosis: Iliotibial band syndrome or IT band injury. So no 1/2 marathon for me.

 Mckay came home after a run one day & told me that he had seen a house and immediately thought "that is a Nicki house" (cute!). That week on our Sunday walk, we were strolling through that same neighborhood & I spotted this gem before he even said anything. Isn't it a beauty? He knows me so well. I couldn't imagine a more perfectly picturesque house. And with yellow daffodils! Love it!

 Magnolia blossoms smelled so sweet & looked so pretty. There is beauty all around & I had to snap a picture.

Still waiting on that sofa fairy.

Still sitting on the floor when we want to "relax" & watch TV. It's the worst. But I just can't deal with the research and time it would take to pick out a sofa, so for now, we sit on the floor.

3 more weeks of this semester-

We are in the middle of mental health nursing & as I read through the book I start to wonder if I am the patient they are referring to in the vignette, "anxiety, tension, restlessness, irritability, lack of concentration, racing thoughts, sleep disturbances, panic attacks"...

Sounds about right :]

Just kidding, I'm holding on just fine, only looking forward to a break, a nap, and a book!

let's be real

Our clean laundry has been sitting in a basket all week. Literally 6 days.

The bed rarely gets made.

Dinner? Prepared on Sunday plus one other lucky night of the week.

Hair? Again, done on Sunday.

I managed to clean the toilet for the first time in a while, normally I clean out of habit.

But this time it was necessity.

Things are falling by the wayside, people!

Yesterday morning I woke up after a hard night.  I had a dream that I was hiking in a scary, frost-covered, Narnia-ish land & found a terrifying, 12 foot bear.  And then I climbed up a tree à la Katniss to hide/save my life.  The bear was huge & hungry & I thought, "I am going to get eaten" because he was as tall as the tree I had climbed to safety.

Not my most peaceful or refreshing beauty rest.  Woke up earlier than I wanted to, and with a backache.  I got in the shower & felt much better.  Then I wanted Mckay to wake up and talk to me and love me and make me feel better, but I wanted him to do this without being told to do it. (right?)

Sigh, he didn't catch my drift.

He was sleepy.

So I got mad.

And wouldn't share my cereal with him because I didn't want his "breath to get on it".

SERIOUSLY?!  Who am I?  A psycho.  But it gets worse.

Because then I decided to be mad at our messy house (that he thinks is clean).  So I told him that he had to make the bed because he was the last one out. But a few minutes later I got back in and he jumped out and said, "Who's the last one out of bed?!".  Push my button, honey. Que irrational yelling of "You are so annoying!" -I was literally mad at him. Then all my stress bubbled up and I was crying at the laundry/unmade bed/running late/bad hair day/mean husband/lower score than I wanted on my test/lack of sofa/lack of time/lack of life right now.

Of course later I felt like a complete nut job.  Especially when he was so incredibly baffled at his sweet wife turned Dracula and expressed his literal shock at how this could be, when just the day before we were so in love.  He told me that he came to bed that night (I was sleeping, he was out playing basketball) and cuddled me and kissed my neck "probably 100 times" and whispered in my ear how much he loved me.  Yes, melt my heart and rub in the fact that I am, literally, a psycho.

But the day got better.  Because that night he played football & I baked & then we came together on our picnic blanket and pillows piled on the hard floor and watched this week's GCB (pure, inappropriate, hilarious genius) & all was well again.

Look at him so excitedly and adorably telling me ALL about his football game.

First one of the season! He's the QB this time & so elated.

It was hilarious, him coming home with so much to share.

"Hold your arms like this, like you're catching the ball", "Here's why quarterback is fun- you get to touch the ball every play!".

Everything is fine in the world again, with GCB, football & chocolate chip muffins to ease the nerves.

 

some of our weekend.

loved the aqua door on this darling house. 

 daffodils from ireland, courtesy of trader joes. i love how they add happy spring vibes to the house.

sunday night scrabble. "our" game. i almost beat him. which means i still lost.

bad decision on my part. but i didn't know that until 5 minutes and 7 wrappers later...

we got rid of our too huge, too ugly poop-brown, too cheaply made sofas & got to watch conference on our pile of blankets. we wanted to get in touch with the asian in us. not fun or comfortable.

 we need to get some furniture in here. {so daunting!}

haircuts

hers. what was meant to be a trim ended up a little shorter than the original plan. why does that always happen? it's like this magical cloud is cast over my head as soon as i sit in the chair. words come out of my mouth & i don't even realize what i am saying until the stylist is talking back to me.
"oh no, you can cut more off."
"i'm not attached, i won't be mad if it's too short."
(my favorite of this particular trip- after she cut 4 inches off) "you know, lets do another three, lets go for it!"
to which she replied "lets pace ourselves, see how you like this, you can always come back for more off."  thank you. thank you. thank you.
so i came home with a long bob thingy. it was really cute the day she did it. but it takes more time than my longer hair did, and i'm not a huge fan of flat irons & hairspray and the like. so now it's waiting game time.

his. love.
i convinced him to let me buzz it.
hello! it's so gq.
his hair is normally short, so it's not like its a drastic change. but i love it. love it. love it!
he walks through the door and my first thought is how handsome he looks. & rugged & tough & manly. maybe it's because it's navy seal -esque. maybe not. i just love it.
so perfect for the summer time that is on our heels.

other.
studying, and lots of it. i am so looking forward to this semester being over. once i'm done i'm headed to utah for a week with  my family. then on to the beautiful city of san francisco where mckay will meet me for an extended weekend wedding of a friend. may cannot come soon enough.

last night we saw the hunger games.
we liked. mckay wanted to dissect it all night. i wish it could have gone into more detail, but considering they only had two hours to work with, they did a fabulous job. the movie was actually kind of annoying because of course the theatre was packed & directly behind us there was a guy chomping his ice like i've never head anyone chomp, mouth open {ew!}. i had to give him two "you're being so loud & obnoxious" looks before he stopped. there was also a girl who was sobbing. sobbing! that was funny. but i felt bad for her, because that is usually me. (don't worry- i saw extremely loud and incredibly close WITHOUT tissues. it was bad.)

it's been gorgeous, sunny & warm. we couldn't be more pleased with the weather right now. or life for that matter. it's good.

Au revoir!

Back in the beginning of March we sold this baby. When we moved, we were so close to Mckay's work that a second car became more of a burden and expense than necessity. It sat in the parking lot for a few months & then we realized that it was time to part ways...

We sold to a dirty Polish guy, had we known how ridiculous & terrible this guy was, we would have sold to someone else. A much too long story short, this guy was parading himself as a "Polish, student, worker" who needed the car to get to school. When we told him we weren't going to budge on the price we got ear fulls-

"You not like my face?! My accent? My clothes?"

"You are the liar! You are mean!"

"Please, I am student, I need this car, I only have $700!"

{he clearly had the full amount in his hands}

Once we were finally settled on a price, and cash was handed over he kicked it into gear and proceeded to remove the plates & get the car up on the trailer before Mckay could even sign the papers.

Ya, a student my rear.

Then he insulted us (on my birthday even.) with foul language and ridiculous banter. It was too much. It left us both feeling yucky, but we're over it now.

& then there is the nostalgia-

At the end of our first date, we got into Mckay's car and after a while he asked me what I thought about it. I didn't think much of it, it was just a car... but then he told me that a girl (she who shall not be named) had told him that if he wants to attract the best girls, he should really invest in a nicer car, to show off what kind of guy he is.

Uhm, gag. I was so shocked & hardly understood that kind of reasoning. I told him I loved his old{er} car & that if he would have been driving a BMW from his rich Father I wouldn't have gone on a date with him, the old car was perfectly endearing.

So au revoir to the car that saw us through some really wonderful times.

So much mileage was put on this thing between Norwalk, CT {where he lived} & Dobbs Ferry, NY {where I lived}. It took us to DC and Boston and Virginia & Manhattan multiple times. We talked a lot, laughed a lot, kissed a whole lot, argued a little, and had some of the most wonderful heart-to-hearts in that little blue Altima. 

march 2nd

23.

i had such a happy birthday this year!

my morning started with sleeping through the alarm to go to the gym, which was semi-planned in the back of my mind. mckay went and worked out and came home with hot coconut french toast for us to eat for breakfast. it was a delicious sugar-rush that we try to reserve for special occasions.

he left for work & i did end up at the gym, the french toast guilt set it.

after that, i got a mani-pedi for our special birthday date (as if it's necessary). since it was my birthday, the kind manicurist man michael, gave me a free 15 minute foot massage, WITH hot stones. i was tickled and thrilled beyond belief. it was amazing.

mckay told me to be ready to go at 4pm for our special date.

which was into the city for a temple session and a romantic dinner. "dinner & a movie" as he called it all night (he's funny). i thought it was so sweet that he wanted to take me to the temple on my birthday. it was the right place to be. it had been a few months since we'd gone, it was time.

after the temple we went to this ridiculous restaurant- avra. highly recommend if you're into sea food/greek. which mckay isn't. but he knew i'd love it. & i did. i loooooved it.

 when we finally finished (around 10:30pm, i love long drawn-out dinners lately) it was raining outside and every cab was full. we got pretty wet traipsing those nyc streets trying to find a cab. finally we found a hotel and stood on the steps like we were guests and the doorman got us one. is that allowed? maybe only on your birthday.

 i could die from how good the food was.

lobster for me, steak for him, it was a gluttonous night that is for sure.

& truffle/parmesan french fries. we inhaled those things. mckay asked if i could make them at home... (haha).

 finally back to our little car for the trek home. it was a lovely, fabulous, wonderful night.

the next day i got a sweet card/birthday present in the mail from my mom & dad. it was one of those cards that plays music when you open it. my first of that variety & i thought it was pretty sweet (because i'm easily amused, i guess). mckay got me my very first "hot" workout outfit courtesy of lulu lemon. i am quite in love & not even offended that he prefers i give up my scrubby, i-bought-you-in middle-school, old t-shirt gym attire. i've joined the ranks of fancy runners.

i am one lucky girl. every day, not just fancy birthday-days.

love

yesterday (love day) i was at the hospital for my clinical rotations. my patient was, without a doubt, the most adorable man i've ever met. 90 years old and walking strolling the halls like he was in central park. he had the brightest countenance & he exuded that wonderful grandpa-ness that just makes you smile. in no time he was calling me "nick" & we were discussing the tragedy of Whitney Houston's death.

we talked a little about our lives, where we live, what we do, where we're from...
he asked how long i've been married and when i replied "17 months" he got this look in his eye & told me that he and "sweetheart" were celebrating sixty five years this summer. the look was what i think joy, devotion, true love, tenderness, excitement, butterflies and gratitude would look like through sweet grandpa tears. it was perfect, it made me pause.

the hours flew by & all too soon he was leaving and i was left patient-less. normally i consider that a lucky day (terrible, i know), but this time i was so sad. he was such a doll. his daughter came to pick him up & as we were chatting she opened a little window into his life for me.

she told me that he needed to get back home to take care of his wife who was in a wheelchair & battling dementia. he has taken care of her around the clock for years. how interesting that such a trial was nothing to deter the love and devotion her felt for his sweet wife. i thought back to our converstaion about marriage & couldn't recall a trace of heartache or regret or weariness when he spoke of her. his pure love was so evident and it really stunned me to the core. we said our good-byes and he gave me the sweet old man wink-&-wave and that was it.

he was so eager to return to a life that some would call binding, unfair or even cruel.
but he was just missing his love.

what a man.
what a valentine's day.